Day 0, Sept 4: Hop in the car, drive to Dallas, eat our last Tex-Mex of the month
Day 1, Sept 5: Flight to LA; spend the day in Beverly Hills with the rich people; dinner at Yamashiro, so we can pretend like we’re one of them (pay no attention to the travelling shoes!)
Later that night… Flight from LA leaves at 11:50 PST, aka 2 in the morning, Austin time. We’ll even try to stay up for a couple hours on the plane before sleeping. There’s jet lag to contend with, see.
Day 2, Sept 7: See how we lost a day there? Stupid International Date Line. How does that thing work, anyway? Anyway, land in Sydney at 8:00 local time and force ourselves to stay awake and outdoors all day. Ferry ride down the harbor and Taronga Zoo.
Day 3, Sept 8: Sydney Aquarium, The Rocks, and if the Swans do well this season, maaaybe an AFL playoff game. Woo, oval field!
Day 4, Sept 9: Hyde Park, botanical gardens, and other assorted greenery. At night: Sydney Ghost Tours!
Day 5, Sept 10: Fly to Cairns, home base for the Great Barrier Reef and northern rainforest. Stay at a cute little guest house.
Day 6, Sept 11: Great Barrier Reef! Swim with the fishes and sharks and other reefy things. Be sure to leave scuba mask with “Wallaby Way” address clearly marked. Be sad that I’m missing my own “Terrorists Suck” party.
Day 7, Sept 12: Take the world’s longest cable car ride over the rainforest, spend the afternoon in the touristy town of Kuranda, and ride back to Cairns on some sort of scenic railway.
Day 8, Sept 13: Fly from Cairns into the deep, deep desert, where worms make spice or something like that, and home of the Biggest Rock Ever. Eat a fancy gourmet dinner under the stars (click this one). Sleep in… dramatic pause… a TENT. (That was my Indoor Wife you just heard squealing.)
Day 9, Sept 14: Use our Toyota Yaris rental car, driving on the lefthand side, to see Ayers Rock and the lesser-known but equally pretty Kata Tjuta. You’re supposed to not miss the sunrise, so we’ll be up and at em at 5:00 AM; sad, considering we’ll probably JUST be adjusted to the new time zone. One more night in a tent.
Day 10, Sept 15: And, we’re outta here. Fly from Ayers Rock to Adelaide, South Australia, home of the wine country.
Day 11, Sept 16: A day in sunny Adelaide, apparently a low-key laid-back city, and as it turns out sister city to Austin. Whatever the heck a “sister city” is. Anyway, we’ll do as little as possible to celebrate the halfway point of the trip.
Day 12, Sept 17: Back at it! A daylong bus tour to Barossa Valley, the Napa Valley of Australia, where they make lots and lots of tasty wine. I suggested to MB that we rent bikes to toodle around the valley ourselves. MB laughed at the notion of me riding a bike after six glasses of wine. (She’s got a point; you should see me riding a bike after ZERO glasses of wine.)
Day 13, Sept 18: Hop on ANOTHER bus (glad we had that rest day) and then hop a ferry to exotic Kangaroo Island. Lord knows what type of creatures we might find there. Check into our honest-to-god beach house, which claims to have penguins that nest in the yard. Feed penguins bread until sunset, if all goes well. If no penguins, we’re DEMANDING a refund.
Day 14, Sept 19: ANOTHER BUS! This time touring Kangaroo Island, spotting the wildlife and visiting the world-famous Eucalyptus Distillery. Hee, I just pictured a drunk koala bear. One more night on the beach, and then…
Day 15, Sept 20: ANOTHER BUS! Headed back to Adelaide this time, with accompanying ferry ride to the mainland. Ahhh, no more buses.
Day 16, Sept 21: Up and at em, and we head to Hertz Rent-a-car to pick up our second Toyota Yaris of the trip and head out toward the Great Ocean Road. ROAD TRIP!!! Today we cover a good 650 km to end up at Port Fairy, where we get another beachside house.
Day 17, Sept 22: Great Ocean Road, day two; limestone cliffs, pretty forests, Cape Otway, the Twelve Apostles. Then check into the Surf Coast Spa in Anglesea for a nice cushy hotel stay with the “romance package.”
Day 18, Sept 23: Romance package includes two one-hour spa treatments, so we start the morning with mud on our face, or something like that. Then it’s another 100 km to sunny Melbourne, final stop on our big trip. Spend the afternoon wandering the city.
Day 19, Sept 24: Last day in Oz: walk the city, see the sights. For our final evening in Australia, see The Nutcracker at the State Theatre (notice special Australian “-re” spelling).
Day 20, Sept 25: Fly out of Melbourne at 10:55 in the morning. Sixteen hours later, land at LAX at 10:45 in the morning, ten minutes before we took off. I guess we hit 88 mph somewhere in the middle. Assuming of course we don’t crash on a magical island with polar bears. *secretly crosses fingers* We’re back in Dallas at 6:30 in the evening, collapsing in somebody’s bed, and hoping we can somehow pull off the reverse jet lag thing in two short days before heading back to work. Sigh, stupid work.
And that, folks, is how you spend $10,000.
